Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter must decide which of them gets in.
St. Peter asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven, so she takes off her top and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please Him to be able to see them every day for eternity." St. Peter thanks Dolly, and asks Queen Elizabeth the same question. She says nothing, but drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it. St. Peter says, "OK, Your Majesty, you may go in." Dolly is outraged. She screams, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own creations, she performs a disgusting hygiene act, and she gets in and I don't!!!"
"Sorry, Dolly," says St. Peter, "but a royal flush beats a pair every time.