Dating Vs Married

dating..... Farting is never an issue
married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband - at all times

dating..... He takes you out to have a good time
married ....He brings home a 6 pack, and says "What are you going to drink?"

dating..... He holds your hand in public
married ....He flicks your ear in public

dating.....   A Single bed for 2 isn't THAT bad
married .... A King size bed feels like an army cot

dating...   You are turned on at the sight of him naked
married ....You think to yourself...."Was he ALWAYS this hairy????"

dating..... You enjoyed foreplay
married.... You tell him "If we have sex, will you leave me alone???"

dating.....   He hugs you when he walks by you ...for no reason
married .... He grabs your boobs any chance he gets

dating.....   You picture the two of you together, growing old together
married .... You wonder who will die first

dating.....   Just looking at him makes you feel all "mushy"
married .... When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

dating.....   He knows what the "hamper" is
married ... The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area

dating.....   He understands if you "aren't in the mood"
married .... He says "It's your job."

dating.....   He understands that you have "male" friends
married .... He thinks they are all out to steal you away

dating.....   He likes to "discuss" things
married .... He develops a "blank" stare

dating.....   He calls you by name
married .... He calls you "Hey" and refers to you when speaking to others as "She."

And Lets Face it Guys The HoneyMoon is Over When......... Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket. Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam in your face. PMS lasts all month  You can't recall the last time you had a night on the town. You fall asleep to the sound of him clipping his toenails. Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display. "Honey, what are you thinking?" is now "Are you finished yet?!" He yawns when you bitch about that guy hitting on you at work. He leaves the bathroom door open, no matter what. You used to walk hand in hand, now you run to keep up. You look forward to his poker night.
Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have become way too uncomfortable. When he lends you five bucks, he expects it back. The way he breathes is getting on your nerves.