This is an EXCELLENT short course in Han Chinese. If you are serious about this, make sure you speak with a Chinese accent, or it may take a bit longer. Also, be sure to practice out loud!
  Impress your neighbors!! Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes:

  English phrase       -- Chinese Interpretation

  Are you harboring a fugitive?   -- Hu Yu Hai Ding?

  See me A.S.A.P.     --Kum Hia Nao

  Stupid Man     --Dum Gai

  Small Horse     --Tai Ni Po Ni

  Your price is too high!!     --No Bai Dam Ding!!

  Did you go to the beach?   -- Wai Yu So Tan?

  I bumped into a coffee table     --Ai Bang Mai Ni

  I think you need a facelift     --Chin Tu Fat

  It's very dark in here     --Wai So Dim?

  Has your flight been delayed?     --Hao Long Wei Ting?

  That was an unauthorized execution.     --Lin Ching

  I thought you were on a diet     --Wai Yu Mun Ching?

  This is a tow away zone.   -- No Pah King

  Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena?     -- Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

  You are not very bright     --   Yu So Dum

  I got this for free     -- Ai No Pei

  I am not guilty     -- Wai Hang Mi?

  Please, stay a while longer.     -- Wai Go Nao?

  Our meeting was scheduled for next week     -- Wai Yu Kum Nao

  They have arrived   -- Hia Dei Kum

  Stay out of sight   -- Lei Lo

  He's cleaning his automobile     --Wa Shing Ka

  Your body odor is offensive   -- Yu stin ki pu

  Pew! does this bathroom stink!   -- Hu Flung Dung?